We're All Looking For That Something - The Scientists

The Scientists

Back to Australia for a bit here. Now here's a band that took some work for me to track down.

It's 1997. I've officially gone nuts for the Aussies. And I keep hearing about this dude named Kim Salmon and his band the Scientists. There are echoes of their existence on other albums I owned, such as "Kim's Dirt" from the first Dirty Three album (which Salmon wrote.) And there was a huge enticing entry on Kim Salmon in the true bible of all things Rock and Roll at least up until 1991.  All right cool. Sounds great, let me check out this band The Scientists.

Not so fast. The Scientists turned out to be the most difficult Australian band for me to acquire. I found a few albums by Kim Salmon and the Surrealists (Kim's later project), but this supposedly legendary, influential rock'n'roll behemoth remained unattainable. I was pissed on this planet that I couldn't find copies of Scientists albums like "Pissed on Another Planet."  My Australian hook-up couldn't help me. Goldmine magazine couldn't help me. The legendary rock band from Columbus that I was talking to at a party (New Bomb Turks, by the way) couldn't help me (though they told me it would be worth the search.) So while my frustration grew so did the legend of how f--in' great the Scientists would be.

So sometimes you just gotta keep talking to people cuz you never know when you'll say the right thing to the right person. (As an aside, I should probably apply that concept to my current job search.) So one day I'm in a theatre "rehearsal."  Okay, really I'm sitting around while the fearless leader tries to re-animate a corpse or affix a dildo to Tiresias or something. And I noticed the scary goth opera girl I had a little crush on was carrying around a Nick Cave LP. So I started talking rock'n'roll. Now maybe another dude would have thought "Cool, the gorgeous girl has something in common with me, maybe I can work this into a date." Well I was thinking "Cool, the gorgeous girl has something in common with me, maybe she can make me a tape. If she doesn't decapitate me."

Well wouldn't you know, the scary goth opera girl DID have some Scientists music. "Yeah, I'd be happy to put that on tape for you. But why are you hiding in the corner?"

So I finally had my Scientists!!! And maybe the music wasn't the earth-shaking revelation I had built it up to be but it was still damn good. Eventually I was able to round out the collection with some original vinyl.
Kim Salmon has continued to put out some really diverse albums with the Surrealists, The Business and several other groups. According to Wikipedia, he also teaches music as a "day job."  What kind of world do we live in where Kim Salmon has to have a day job.

Oh, a few months ago I ran into the scary goth opera girl again. And she's not so scary (she's got all of my records.)  Turns out she's incredibly nice and in an awesome new band with her husband. Check them out.  And check out the Scientists.

Set it on fire by the Scientists

Nowadays you can buy music by The Scientists on Amazon

Here's Your Chance To Make Me Feel Awkward - Jonathan Richman

Jonathan Richman

This blogpost today concerns, rocker Johnny!!! He never sucks, he's always great!

So you like the Velvet Underground they say. Well you should listen to Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers then. Jonathan himself was a big fan and he even used to sleep on Lou Reed's couch. Plus, John Cale of the VU produced their first album.  All right yeah! I'm in. Let's find some records.

That's how it started for me, and the first Modern Lovers album fits the bill. Okay, these guys are a little wacky, but there's some damn good rock riffs going on there ("Astral Plane" "She Cracked" etc.) Definitely something a Velvet Underground fan can appreciate.

 Okay, Let's try some more. Uh oh. What's this shit? "Hey There Little Insect," "I'm A Little Dinosaur", A non-ironic "cover" of "The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round."  What the hell is going on here? The edgy Boston rocker with a slight naive streak seems to have suddenly transformed into a guy you would hire for a kids' 6th birthday party.

 I won't pretend to really know what changed with Jonathan so early in his career. I've heard two theories. One was that once a musician finds himself a bit more popular with the ladies, the edge and anger are gone. The other theory is more fun, comes from Jonathan himself and can be heard here.  (explanation begins at about 1:20)

So it took me some time to get onto the Jojo happy wavelength. To be honest, I think the more my friends complained about hearing "-a-neat, a-neat, a-neat" the more entrenched I became. And it sure didn't hurt that his songs made the Irish girl smile, which at that time in my life was the most beautiful sight in the world for me. And that's enough 1996 reminiscing for right now.


And being that I think of myself as possessing a completely unique (and therefore often unappreciated) style of humor, no song could be more pertinent than this one.

She Doesn't Laugh At My Jokes - Jonathan Richman

And here's some of that earlier work

Buy Jonathan's music on Amazon

P.S.  Yes, this is the guy you saw on "Something About Mary"

What About Greg? He's Dead, Well He's Aliiiiiive! - The Moodists

The Moodists

There are no girls that I was smitten with in this post. Nonetheless this is a story of lost love.

It's unfair to the Moodists that they share in this sad story of a waning of passion. It has nothing to do with their music. To quote Bob Dylan somewhat incorrectly, "they just happened to be there, that's all."

But first let's give the Moodists their due. Another Australian band that could (and still can as evidenced from some 2015 videos of them reuniting in what looks like some guys' living room!) rock circles around the majority of career rock n' rollers out there. I learned about them when asking for a recommendation from the original Greg's Music World (Australian Mail Order CD house I used to build my collection in the late 90s). "You'll probably like Dave Graney."  So they send me this CD that's mostly soft (well, and sexy as the title said) lounge singer material. Gregs know Gregs though, and I caught on and loved it pretty quickly.
Anyone remember the Trouser Press Alternative Music Guide? A book (physical thing that used to contain pages and words before the internet) containing all (well at the time I thought it was all) the music I would ever want to know about. Holy shit, the entries are all online now!!! (No duh Greg, you just never thought to look until now!) Well anyway, the entry on Dave's old band The Moodists was incredibly intriguing to me, "graduates of the thump n' grind school of gothic punk."  Yeah, man let's check that out!!!
Alas, Greg's Music World informed me none of the Moodists material was still available. And thus began the great search. The Moodists' records became the holy grail of rock n' roll acquisition for me. I searched the record shows, the pages of Goldmine, sent e-mails to other record stores in Australia. And somehow I found some Vinyl singles and the awesome album "Thirsty's Calling."  But the ultimate jewel, the Double Life EP constantly eluded me.

And then one day I discovered I could put this internet thing INSIDE MY OWN HOUSE!!!! And from there, I could find anything!!! From downloads, orders, youtube there's nary a sound I can't find. This is the best thing ever!!!!!

But it's not the best thing ever. Yeah I acquired those songs from Double Life. And yeah, they were the best music they had ever done. It was worth the wait. So why isn't this the best thing ever?

The feeling wouldn't come back again. The Moodists were my last great Holy Grail of rock. There were things I just never realized about myself before. To quote Deep Purple as they used a cliche in a 1984 song that I never realized was about anal sex until I was much older, "It's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase."  And as time passed and I acquired every song I ever wanted to hear....the passion waned severely. And the poor Moodists will always be associated in my mind as the band that brought on the change.

Well times change and people change. Writing this little music blog is helping me re-charge my passion, and the Moodists are now poised to be apart of the revival. So listen to "Double Life" below and never forget to love rock n' roll.

Double Life Live

Buy most of the Moodists music on this awesome compilation

Cracked voice in my drunken head - Johnny Dowd

Johnny Dowd

I'm gonna tell two stories. I swear they will relate eventually, The first story is simple and short. I had a friend named Mark during my last years of college. We just met a few weeks before graduation, but we became mutual music mentors. Mark had a crazy habit of suddenly selling all his CDs and records...only to eventually buy them all back!!!  Well anyway, once we were out of school we would trade cassette tapes through the mail. One day he sent me a tape with a group called Old 97s on one side and some dude named Johnny Dowd on the other side. The Old 97s were amazing!!!!! But this Johnny guy...well I'll listen to it again so I can get the tape back to the beginning of the Old 97s. That's the thing here. You might have to listen to Johnny a couple times to get it. I've heard once that the human brain automatically tries to compare musical sounds to something recognizable, and that this makes completely new sounds difficult to like right away. I'm no sonic scientist but it makes sound sense to me. So about the third time I heard "Just Like a Dog" I got it.

The second story is from 1998. Back when I was young, cool and drunk all the time* Met some sister of a friend of a friend. And oh gosh, she was beautiful, quick-witted, friendly and (most importantly to me at the time) planning on seeing the play I was in the next day. I was immediately and temporarily smitten. But no, this is not a love story. She was a happily coupled up woman, and was not flirting or interested in me. But she was still so damn cool!!!

So the girl, her brother, my friend and several other friends all came to see me perform as a drunken version of Bob Cratchitt in a re-write of a Christmas Carol in which Scrooge was the communist tragic hero. And after that she became sort of a pen-friend. And let me remind you, this isn't a romance story. 19 years later she's married with children to the man she was dating then. But I still thought she was so damn cool!! So when she'd come to town to visit her brother I always looked forward to seeing her among all our various mutual friends.

So one day she sends me an e-mail. "Hey, my boyfriend's band is coming to Columbus. You should check them out, it's Johnny Dowd."  Johnny F--in' Dowd!!!! Her boyfriend is Johnny Dowd's drummer!!! Now by this time I'd grown to love Johnny and not met ONE SINGLE PERSON who had ever heard of him (except my buddy Mark in Chicago who had originally sent me a tape). And now I'm gonna see him in my town and I've even got a small connection. And that was the firs time I saw Johnny Dowd live. He played some amazing songs from an upcoming album I had yet to hear and it was just an extraordinary night. And yes, a couple years later Johnny did in fact play a concert at MadLab Theatre. Maybe that'll come in a future post.

Remember, you might have to listen to this a few times. Or don't. I'm pretty sure Johnny doesn't care. He's going to keep doing what he does whether we like him or don't. And I'm very thankful for that!


* I continued to be young until about 2007. I continued to be drunk all the time until through 2016. I figured out I wasn't actually cool around 2008, then realized "Bullshit, I am too" in 2017.


Just Like A Dog by Johnny Dowd on youtube

Buy Johnny Dowd's music and merchandise


And here's me as Bob Cratchitt in 1998

I need security but I hate safety - Julian Cope

Julian Cope

"Oh yeah, I've heard him on the radio. I think he kind of sucks."  That's what I told my friend Rich W. (another musical mentor of mine) back in 1996 when he said "You gotta check out Julian Cope, I think you'll love him."  Copey had two songs get decent airplay in 1991 when Columbus first got an alternative radio station (CD 101, which is now CD102.5. Cuz they've grown by 1.5 over the past 26 years.) "That guy just sounds goofy and wimpy, going all 'byootiful love now, byootiful love'"
Sometimes people persist. Rich persisted. Gave me a tape of a lot of songs of the Jehovakill album from 1994. Thank Odin for that!!! "No Hard Shoulder To Cry On" and "Upwards At 45 Degrees" were the first two to grab me. I've decided to include "No Hard Shoulder" because it's the one that means the most to me right now. "And this world does require a gain each day/ And this world will not tolerate my feelings."
The Drude is one of a kind, man. That's right, he calls himself The Drude or Arch-drude, combination of Druid and Dude. This guy has catchy pop-tunes (perhaps you've heard "World Shut Your Mouth") and 60 plus minute "Meditations" (Breath of Odin). Sweet songs of love and near-violent anti-monotheism dirges. I'd say Julian is vehemently intolerant of intolerance.

Now me personally, I prefer the weird side of the Drude's conventional side. Which is to say, his rock and roll songs, but the less conventional amongst them. He gained some fame early in his career as the singer of the post-punk "The Teardrop Explodes" before he shoved off into a a solo career where he recorded several albums of really catchy alt-rock like "St Julian" and "World Shut Your Mouh" Nice stuff, really. But then he got weird and that's what I love!!! His last several albums have (I believe) only been available via his website headheritage.co.uk and they've all been worth it.  If you want specific recommendations ask me in the comments. Or even better, if you already know the Drude, tell me what's the best in the comments.


Listen to No Hard Shoulder To Cry On on youtube

Okay, I had to add another one. If you listen to this entire track (all 20 minutes) tell me in the comments and you won't win a prize. Except for 20 minutes of ridiculous rocking guitar freakout!!!

Experience (loudly) Julian Cope's "Eccentrifugal Force"


Buy stuff from the Drude!!!

I Went Off My Rocker - Luke Haines

Luke Haines

All right so yesterday I broke into the Big IV.  I love a lot of music, and I hope that will come through over time on the blog, but there are four artists who do kind stand above everything else for me. The Fall (and therefore Mark E. Smith) is one. Today we get another member of the Big IV, Luke Haines.

I'm not gonna do a "How did I discover Luke Haines" story here. Maybe someday if I post "Former Fan" by his old band The Auteurs I'll write that story. It won't be a very interesting story I promise you.

I don't exactly know why these British misfit artists (Luke, MES, tomorrow's enty) mean so much to me. I mean, quite often the lyrics and topics of songs get very British. I don't really even know what these guys are on about. In fact saying "what they are on about" is a phrase I never would have said if I didn't read so many interviews with these guys. "Here's to Old England" "Leeds United" "The South Will Rise Again" "British Nuclear Bunkers" "9.5 Psychedelic Meditations On British Wrestling in the70s and Early 80s"  I'm lost. But damn these songs sound incredible!!! For me, no one crafts a majestic tune like Luke does. Sometimes it takes the tenth listen to a song before I realize that I've actually been banging my head to a soft, pretty mostly acoustic tune. I mean damn, for years one of the main players in his band was a cello player (who is only referred to as "The cello player" in Haines autobiographies).

It doesn't hurt that Luke Haines seems to love what I love. I mean damn, for those of you who know me...can you imagine how excited I was when I found out one of my favorite singers had a song coming out called "Cats That Look Like MES"? Well I'll tell you. I was....um...really excited. Can you guess the topic of the song "Lou Reed, Lou Reed"?  Oh by the way, if you really love me, ask me for my address and then go to Luke's websites and buy one of his made-to-order paintings of Lou Reed and have it sent.

Lou Reed, Lou Reed

Damn there's so much more to say. It's okay. Haines will be back on this page again. Though at his prolific rate, I can't promise I'll do another post on him before he releases another album. So I will leave you with this picture of me dressed up as Luke Haines for a Halloween party a couple years ago.



And here's a song that should get you started:
Listen to Off My Rocker At The Art School Bop on youtube

Buy Luke Haines music on Amazon


Special bonus, the first person who comments below (with some pertinent comment...."First" is not a pertinent comment!) gets a free copy of a rare and weird Luke Haines CD.  US only though (I ain't paying overseas mailing fees) and only if you want it.

Something to dance to, A certain style - The Fall

The Fall

I couldn't hold out any longer. This is the first of what will probably be many postings about The Fall. This is it man. This is my favorite group in the history of the universe. The group that makes music just for me. Not the way I would ever think I would want it though. No, MES ("singer" Mark E. Smith) uses his psychic ability to tap into my brain and find out what sounds do I NEED to hear. And I simply can't imagine that there was ever a time before The Fall.

But there was. In or around 1996 I was trading cassette tapes across the Atlantic with my friend Chris (Volvo/Anders/Babic....he'll get his own post one day!). And the beauty of trading cassette tapes is...you've got to fill the extra space with something. So somewhere near the end of a Blue For Two or Triffids tape he threw on two songs I didn't ask for. Smile and Hotel Bloedel by the Fall.

And the world changed. Or at least mine did. Although maybe not all at once. I bought their album "Perverted By Language"  (which contains both songs I had heard) which is still to this day my favorite album ever. It's been said that Fall fans always rate the first one they heard as their favorite, so maybe I'm just another example there. I bought a few others here and there and they just didn't grab me quite as hard. At first.

I didn't become a true FF (Fall Fan? FuckFace? Interchangeable terms I believe. Hey There!!!!) until 1999 when I really came to realize there was more than "Perverted By Language". Of course by that time The Fall were a band of the past with nothing left to offer me. Well, that's what I thought as I quickly collected the past catalogue. (They've released 11 albums since that time, all of them worthwhile and maybe 4 of them great, so clearly I was just being a look back bore at the time.)

I'd love to say more....but there will be further Fall posts.

Go on, you can do it SMILE!!!! on youtube


Buy The Fall's music on Amazon